Cover Snark: Lord Gumbert Rubberthwaite

2 months ago 18
Add to circle

Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Say Yes to the Princess by Charis Michaels. A brunette woman in a peach dress is leaning back on a stone bench, braced on her arms. A man in tight black pants and no shirt is leaning over her. Both are very smooth and shiny. He also has a very long neck.

Amanda: This gives me Barbie animated movie vibes.

Sarah: His head is so big, and his neck is so long, and I’m also confused by the size of her head and the length of her arms.

This is giving me the uncanny valley vibes of that one Julie Anne Long Cover – not the smirking git one, the giant head lady one.

This one:

Angel in a Devil's Arms by Julie Anne Long. A blond naked man is in bed in the background with white sheets around his waist. In the foreground, a blonde woman in a yellow dress is leaning against the door jamb. Her head looks big compared to the slimness of her arms and neck.

Sarah: “Head too big, arms too short” will be the name of my podcast about disturbing cover art.

Elyse: That’s similar to my favorite kitten/puppy stage “ears too big, legs too long”

Sarah: His neck is long, right? It’s not just me?

Elyse: I think it’s not long, it’s broken.

Sarah: “How.”
” How what?”
” How did you know that my father was Gumby?”
” Everyone knows your father is Gumby, my lord.”

Elyse: LMAO

Sarah: “I thought we had hidden it.”

“You thought you had hidden your lineage and connection to Lord Gumbert Rubberthwaite, Earl of Stretetshingtonshoreley?”

“Which is pronounced ‘Stretchley?’ Really, you thought that was a secret?”

Elyse: I would read that book.

Behind the Net by Stephanie Archer. An illustrated cover. A man in gray pants and a dark blue hockey jersey is lifting up a woman to rest on the metal portion of a hockey net. She has sandy blond hair, light jeans, and a purple sweater, with slip-on boat shoes.

From Kelly B: One-the title is Behind the Net but they are clearly in front of the net. And two-the physics required to sit on a hockey net like that.

Sarah: This is just awful on so many gravitational and proportional levels.

Amanda: Girl has got to be engaging her core like crazy.

The Countess's Groom by Emily Larkin. A brunette woman in a blue dress is pulling away from a dude with wavy brown hair who is trying to kiss her.

Also from Kelly B: This is the only clinch cover I’ve seen with an active escape attempt by the heroine. Her entire being is recoiling from his pursuit.

Sarah: What is happening. His breath must be deadly.

Shana: She looks like she’s playing dead in the hopes that he will take his horrible breath far far away

Amanda: It’s very similar to the swerve my cats do when I try to kiss their little kitty heads.

Read Entire Article